Report on childhood happiness and the "selfishness of a

[pdwroe]

Oh dear, now I'm really depressed As if its not enough to feel constantly under pressure as a teacher to get everything right, I'm now being slated for being a part time working mum.
If you havent seen the news tonight (or only got as far as the snow!) a report has just been brought out blaming parental break ups and part time working mums for children being unhappy.
In response to the family break ups issue

Duh!

Of course children are going to be upset if their parents break up - when has anyone ever suggested they would be happy about it?!
However, this DOESN'T mean that you can put the guilt on the parents for every break up.
I wouldn't deny that some people go into having children with their eyes closed, or in unstable relationships etc etc, but the majority of break ups are surely between people who want their relationships to work, but just cant get there?

I consider myself to be incredibly lucky because I am happily married, have a fantastically wonderful hubby and great kids, but I AM LUCKY! I could have been married to any one of at least 5 losers! Thank goodness for being picky!

To make it worse, part time working mums are being classed as selfish. Do these people not realise that some mums HAVE to work part time?
My husband works for a charity and is never going to be paid enopugh to pay for a home and 2 kids. I desperately didnt want to work after the birth of either of my 2 gorgeous boys, but there is no way we could afford to live if i didn't work part time. We do not have a luxurious lifestyle ( I'm 35 and to date have never been able to afford to pay to go abroad) we very rarely go out, the boys do not have the latest comp[uter equipment, blah de blah - and this is not a sob story. I think we have a decent home and decent food, and we are warm and appropriately clothed - but I cannot see how I can save any more money to enable me to stay at home.

So now I have Teacher Guilt - for having no idea of what on earth I'm supposed to be doing in EY at the moment, so I do what I believe in, but it doesn't really go with the recommendations - and also Mother Guilt - for not being able to stay at home all day every day (even though I have sorted out THE most fantabulous childminder and James loves her).

Anyone who can load any more types of guilt onto me, please feel free, it cant do any more damage! Better go to bed before hubby makes me feel guilty for ignoring him!

Pdw

[debbie]

Many mums have to work full time - not just part time!

I do think that we need to re-examine the 'model' for our work-life balance - or we may as well scrub out the notion of a 'work-life' balance completely.

Many ordinary families - whether one parent or two - work inordinately long and hard. I am sure that this factor does lead to pressure in families and unhappy children one way or another.

Apart from anything else, working parents also have to undertake a full range of 'work' around the house in terms of the daily/weekly/seasonal chores.

So, after 'work' to earn one's living and 'work' to run a household, what is actually 'left' by way of time and attention for the children themselves?

As you know, I am very, very disgusted by the level of needless bureaucracy that is the status quo in England right now. I am going to put up a serious fight against it.

Even your poor childminder is going to have to plan and observe and assess your children more than I suggest a professional 'teacher' should have to. You know it is ridiculous.

Worse still, is the mere sense of government 'Big Brother' pervading into our homes - and a 'childminder's' home is HER home even if she shares it with other people's children - surely it should still be 'home-like'.

Regarding guilt, then, I'm sorry but I think there are many people in positions of disproportionate influence who should feel guilty for the snowballing bureaucracy that is a feature of England right now (and no doubt other countries). Maybe they are responsible for some of the children's unhappiness because of the pressure they place on working people - and because they have taken teachers and carers away from interacting with children whilst they make the obsessive 'observations' and record these to provide evidence for the government of so-called standards (and all this for PRE-school!) England's idea of early-years provision has gone crazy.

What worries me further, is that many countries seem to look to England's practices sometimes to model their 'good practice'. But this is to assume that England's 'practice' is good practice in the first place.

One thing in life that would make many a parent into a better parent, is for the parent to be a happier parent - and for parents to have more time on their hands for their children.

But work is not such an effort if people feel supported and appreciated and inspired. That's pretty much human psychology isn't it!

Well - I am a teacher (although I have now resigned as I need to spend all my time promoting synthetic phonics teaching and providing training etc), - but I do not feel supported, appreciated or inspired within the teaching climate of this government. Much needs to change. Feeling unappreciated will have an adverse effect in people's homes.

So - ignore the news item. News programme producers just want soundbite after soundbite no matter how ridiculous the news item - and it seems to me that most items are not worthy of the attention they receive!

The item on part time mums is a non-item!